STALKFACE KILLA

02

07

I win.

59-2

Pancakes, if you looks closely.

$5,922.

Dolla bills, y'all.

THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Lisabot Offices have been quiet for quite some time now. But today, the best day ever, the World's Greatest Day, the following came across the wire:

omfg. I was trapped in a syrup-obseesed, leaf-peeping wasteland. Hello? Anyone? The following things are all true except one:

Puppies poop a lot and will almost eat anything.

Dudes who act aggressive about their boats also act aggressive about Hilary Duff representing Walmart in TV ads.

If you really look at Brit's "new" "in-shape" body it looks the same as the picture from when she was 'chubby.'

Trya Banks is trashy on her show but insists she wasnt to be like Oprah.

Oprah is not really reading her book club books. Some tells her what is happening because they have read it. And she pays them to.

Sweatpants may, at times double as a do-rag. Bunnies.

It is disgusting watching a cow give birth.

More later.
I miss you all. --Pokey Northridge

THE SHITTER

this picture was sent to headquarters from the Lisabot field reps in Vermont. there was no caption, no message, expect a scrap of paper with a handwritten note which simply read: "we're in it."

FRIENDLY

Editor-At-Large Pokey Northridge as released the following report from her inspection of new LisaBot endevors in Burlington, VT:

"you have got to be kidding me.

turkey dinners in march? oh, well yes: as a note to all single men everywhere: do not invite women you don't know to turkey dinners with your family including your mother, especially when the girl is sweaty from running your ass on a tennis court.

a tip to the '420-friendly' readers: please! that shit is so whack. there is no need to being sucking on a bong at your age. get over yourself. if you can't find anything to do other than march around with big signs protesting a war you don't understand then ... then... raahhh! what can i say here? the most likely reason you can't understand why protesting a war in the shopping district of a small vermont town is that you are too fucking high. seriously. find something else to do.

the situation here is strange. lisabot field reps stationed here are growing cranky from the lack of... well, lack of everything. i suspect they are used to much more of everything... yikes, yikes. this project seems to be derailing fast.

more to come."

DREADIES

LisaBot reps report the following from intense field research in the following location:

BURLINGTON, VT: "holy shit! there are a shit ton of white people here with dreadlocks. i saw a woman in the grocery store who was an ADULT and had dreads and a crazy, 100-ft-long scrap of fabric that was wrapped all around here head. there was flair dangling off it. seriously. like little charms and shit. and apparently all these people with 'dreadies' are really taking a stand against manners. and i think that is REALLY socially conscious. yeah, like treat everone like they are worthless and then save the animals by eating tofu. as far as i can tell, the Dreadies are making the world a much better place. ugh."

FRIGGIN FINALLY

LisaBot reps have arrived, finally, in Burlington, Vermont.

More to come...

SKINHEAD IS THE NEW EXTENSIONS

people... okay. we at LIsaBot are SERIOUSLY concerned for Britney's state of well-being. so we are starting the campaign, Skinhead is the New Extensions.

and people! keep it kind.

I GO BOOM

Annual (er whatever) LOOSE CANNON EXTRAORDINAIRE-CADABRA, by Miss Behavior:

ONE:
MOVIES WITH FAT SUITS:seriously-- NO! stop and stop figgin watching them. please. please stop if you care about yourself at all. and shame on gwenth.

TWO:
BLOGS: blogs suck, you KNOW what i mean. like anyone gives a shit what you do during your day. no one cares about your thoughts that you have during your boring day either. if they did, you would have friends, and not have to exploit your boring dribble on the internet. no ones cares. why do you think they do? no one does, not ONE person. go make some friends. seriously.

THREE:
DENTISTS: need i say more? (holla)

FOUR:
MARRIAGE: what the hell are you people thinking? no marriage. none. if you are under the age of 34, right now, and you are thinking about getting married, stop. dead in your tracks, stop. everyone who is married in their twenties is S U F F E R I N G.

FIVE:
ASSHOLES: if you are an asshole, I, Miss Behavior, have a porblem with YOU. why the hell do you think ANYONE wants to tlak about Georgie W? no one does. give it up. and why do you think ANYONE wants to hear about you and your fantastic one-upper stories-- go wirte on your blog that no one reads. you have no friends. and one more thing: if you are a person who lives in any state in the USA that is above the latitude of the northern border of Georgia-- shut the F up about winter: everyone already knows it's cold, it's WINTER (that's what it's like you nincompoop). if you don't like it, go to hell.

AND POSTSCRIPT:
To Leonard Cohen Fans: don't be so friggin twirpy as to question LisaBot representatives as to 'what about this one?' and 'what about that one?'... ALL OF LEONARD COHEN. now take it like a man. and those you (and the ARE more one)...

g i v e i t u p.... oh boohoo.

babies.