CORPORATE AMERICA

corporate america has called on the expertise of LisaBot INC to help aid finacial institutions in expanding there business into middle america. representatives from LisaBot have no comment on this request at this time, but did say that executives are seriously considering the offer.

a POETRY READING id going on Thursday night at 7pm in the Greenberg Lounge of Vanderbilt Hall (NYU). GALWAY KINNELL and all of his spacey dusty fabulousness will be reading poetry and having his ass kissed and salad tossed by NYU students, faculty and alumni, among other people.
greenwich field rep from LisaBot will try to make a cameo, however our corporation is busy at work with other stuff... like...

LisaBot execitives will be spending the celebration of the RESURRECTION OF JESUS CHRIST SUPPERSTAR in Baltimore at an Easter-Brunch-Kegger. (partycollegebeerbongkegstandyeah goes without saying)

LisaBot's beloved trumpeteer will be hosting the celebration in Baltimore, hopefully tooting for four days straight.

with love and affection

THE FUTURE

from the 8th floor of an unnamed NYU building, all kinds of undergrads and studying and learning the crap that will make them contenders for an entry level job, but only if they are lucky. most will fight tooth and nail for the $6/hr internship at a company that they don't even want to work for.

HOLLA BACK YOUNGIN

LisaBot executives spent the last week in an unamed town in Northern Michigan. the week consisted of:

sloppyjoes, a label maker, snow, a wannabe film maker, a hyper active acquaintence from jr high, half a bottle of gin, a break-up and the whole night to go.

Officals report that the trip was a great success...

affiliate KIMMITRON added a great deal of support to our company and expanding endevors. we welcome this kind of contribution and greatly appreciate it. we hope all goes well in TC and in MN, no one wears a pixie cut so well...

NEW YORK
back to the same... cloudy, cranky artist associates. YoYoInternational is a challenging partnership to maintain, LisaBot celebrates office mobility.

a certain former pharmie salesman may have the good fortune of having his cell number published on the internet. LisaBot is not interested in doing business wit him but we maintain that our readership might find a more apporpriate use for his number as we here have none.

in NEW YORK today, in our offices, the attitude can only be summed up in the words of a dear contributor to LisaBot INC, Calleewalleebotastic: "Pokemon madness got me."

HITCH: THE CURE FOR THE COMMON MAN

yeah, LisaBot has been coersed into reviewing this film... it's dfaunting and a huge task...
from out of the trenches, we will save and resurrect cinema, writing and popular culture as it is known.

LOVE OF THE GAME
god, what the fuck is up with people reaching onto other people's plates and touching their food and taking it and eating it before the person, the rightful owner, has even touched it. what the f*******&&&%%%%%%$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuckin biotch. what happened to manners?

anyone?
anyone?

DENTIST x100

Viskia or whatever the name is. btwn 21st & 22nd on 7thav... shitloads of dentists. shitloads of girls. shitloads of dancing and scaring perfectly normal dental students into talking to girls. it was alright, but the highlight of the night was a place on a corner in Tribecca that shall remain nameless was the highlight on the night. in the words of a patron, "DAAAMMN... THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! SHAZAM!" we here at LisaBot agree.

a dentist and a robot left the club and the robot barfed in the robot's own toilet.

LisaBot is tired and going to watch Gael Garcia Bernal act like a transvestite.

today, i am weak.

andy- my stomach.

FULL FRONTAL

A "famous" german artist is staying in lodging provided by LisaBot with accomadation by Yo-Yo International. i accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom. and we hadn't met yet. and i was drunk and it was 5am. so the artsy fartsy world that is the outskirts of LisaBot thrives, meanwhile i am in my office eating candy bars.

We regret to inform our great readership that the Infamous Trumpeteer will no longer be able to make the voyage to New York. But have reports that he is holding a very precious bra at his apartment in Baltimore. the owner of the bra would like to institute a full search party and issue a reward. bra wanted. dead or alive.

other things in the neighborhood are going famously... check out an indy movie by Julien Schnabel, Basquiat. about the artist who was friends and owes his success to Andy Worhol... his exhibit is in the Brooklyn Art Museum...

question of the day here in our offices...

Is Christ Jesus's last name? or what... did anyone call him Jesus CHRIST while he was living? is christ a noun?

AND EVERYTHING KEEPS GOING

the bot will be in Michigan next week for a regularily schedule but top secret event. As of late developemnts in NY are as follows...

our beloved Bronx Times Reporter is certainly a FABULOUS and talented man. the ladies of NY cheer (believe i had nothing to do with it...)

our representative in IOWA slowly an subtly takes sweet sweet advantage of all the girls under the age of 21. buy 'em beer. easy.

our resident Dentist spent one slow night at Bungalow 8. since it's my bog let me take a moment to say...
i told you so.
moving on...

a particular Trumpeteer will be in NY for the weekend. bedautchery ensues... so one so on... i hope Berman isn't coming or we're fucked. And if our cheap little Trumpeteer eats all my food again, i am seriously going to have a shitfit with you guys.

a certain NY writer's program contends to be one of the sources for "weakest sauce" in all of NY. we have an office pool that bets "weakest in the country" god have a fuckin shot. they are free.

parting notes: a sweet sweet hello and wink to our strong supporters at idleatwork. also we do not confirm nor deny our relationship to that site.

FUEL INJECTION

this is getting totally overrated. LisaBot will be taking a vacation, a "spring break" if you will, please stay tuned...

BlowHo

lisabot offices have been ravanged with concerned fantics over a certain technological cock compitition, however we here in the offices are totally indifferent to it. let is fly boys.

as for actual matters of concern,

lisabot is considering employment changes. LisaBot INC is in fact a very dynamic company and those of us who are a part of feel that there opportunities beyond the bounds to which we a currently extended. we are moving to concur the young minds with horseshit at a certain downtown wannabe ivy league university. cheers to us and we wish ourselves luck in tricking administration into giving us control.

the Waldorf-Astoria kindly sponsored admission in FLASH DANCERS, near Times Square, last night around 4:30 am. the verdict is in, LisaBot representatives feel that is an establishment will take credit cards for lap dances, they should also take them for drinks. we will not be returning there. ever.