COFFEE AND ROBOTS

Brief Insights
by Pokey Northridge

"If you are a heterosexual male, and you want to date a certain girl, or any girl for that matter, please keep in mind the following helpful hints:

1. Don't act like a complete idiot.
2a. If you are introducing the girl to someone you know, GET HER NAME RIGHT.
2b. If you are introducing her to someone you know and get her name wrong, DO NOT procede to tell her a story about your friendship with the person which involves a bike messenger race on mushrooms.
3. Don't talk about line-dancing at a Marc Jacobs party like it is some kind of accomplishment-- you are not a socialite, no one is fooled no matter what you say.

In short, acting like a normal person will suffice. Many men cannot act normal, if you can you are leaps and bounds ahead of the competition."

"BACK OFF, JACK OFF!"

LisaBot INC had decided to give its entire staff fanny packs from LeSportSac instead of Christmas bonuses. Employees are clearly pleased.

An All Points Bullietin from Dingo Varrick:

FYI--

Christmas trees are PAGAN, not Christian, so if I have to hear one more PC idiot muttering about Christmas trees and the religious right I am going to break their neck in half. And hang a popcorn-strung garland from the stump.

BIRTHDAY BI'CHES

LisaBot CEOs are celebrating the simultainious birthdays of Editor-at-Large Pokey Northridge, Chairman Dingo Varrick and Janitor/Poet Bev Louis...

A robot ball is taking place at an unnamed location in SoHo. Cheeseburgers will be served... buffalo wings with a side of caviar, a punch bowl full of ground beef.

Dress code for the birthday celebration is as follows: moonboots (circa 1986), jester ski hats (circa 1995) and Tiffany's gift boxes in hand.

all other clothing/apparel is optional.

a CHEERS from LisaBot INC to LisaBot INC:

"nigga I don't like it if it don't gleam gleam,
and to hell with the price
'cause the money ain't a thing."

CHEESEBURGER WORLD TOUR

The Cheesburger World Tour has been officially cancelled.

We here at LisaBot are very, very upset.