DOLLY PARTON: 9 to 5

LisaBot reps have been busy as of late, LisaBot INC has successfully merged with a discreet environmental and outdoor apparel affiliate, contracted by said affiliate for customer service, brand representation and retailer merchandising. Reps report that projects between LisaBot and said affiliate are progressing at an exciting rate.

In other Company News,

certain unamed actors who are alumni of a certain New York private University's undergrad program have been reported as having exceptionally bad manners and also exhibiting an exceptionally high rate of rude interactions and general self-centeredness.

a particular LisaBot field rep reports a specific encounter with a bar employee... a romantic proposition without patience for an answer will most likely result in extreme disaqppointment on the end of the proposer.

Mexican Stamps

LisaBot PR reps concede that the issue of the Mexican government creating a stamp about racism is useless. what do stamps do? LisaBot INC does not support anything on stamps execpt ducks. racism belongs in its rightful place: up in people's faces.

FRENCH LESSONS

french people are SO french. what is the deal? man oh man. champagne, wine, pride... french fries.

Last night at a art book party one of our field reps was accosted by a french man. we can neither confirm nor deny his identity or age or affiliations, however we can state for the record that he was indeed VERY FRENCH. our rep reports back that she was enlightened on the histroy of french toast, french fries and denim.

"Everything," the rep reported, "that he did and said was so french. It was hours of exactly what you would imagine a french person to say: why France and french dingalings are better than American whatevers.

"I don't care if other things and places are better than America. The problem is not that I am offended by patriotism of any kind. The problem is that IT IS NOT INTERESTING to listen to someone tell you what is best or better. SO WHAT if french soldiers' backpacks are better because they are lighter. That is uninteresting to me and I find it irrelevant to hear someone give a place props. No one cares but them. It is, in a sense, social dialogue masturbation. And disgusting" the rep added.

New Jersey Transit

After almost barfing all over the New Jersey transit train from Summit to Port Authority, a LisaBot INC field rep graciously stepped onto the platform and proceded to a public facility. heat stroke in NEW JERSEY.

New York Sighseeing Tours were previoulsy sworn off by LisaBot staffers however it has been dually noted the the best way to see sights in the city (if you have to) is to ride a double decker red bus around at night.

Josh Hartnett was sighted recently and admitted to a LisaBot affiliate that he had made the wrong decision that day, refering to his outfit. he chose pants and was covered in sweat. Josh, it's summer, your hot, your sweaty, short are imparative.

LATER IN LIFE
the perfect outfit for summer is a white linen top and white linen pants. an affliliate has demonstrated this unwaveringly this summer and we take heed. maybe Josh Hartnett should be forwarded this information (out od pure love of course).

ONE FOR THE ROAD

Logistics Report

it seems this week the LisaBot offices have suffered minor and major set backs. As a fledgling international company plans were to, well, take over the world... but since one CEO's hair colorist came down with a fever and yesterday required tennis and napping and more napping, we are a bit behind. however tomorrow is the lapse day and therein Thursday afternoon everything will be up and running at full throttle.

Report Summary from Editor-At-Large Pokey Northridge

A quick editorial must suffice as I have been bucked off two horses today and am about to ride this one to the glue factory. General scores for the last months are as follows, rated on a scale from one to ten, ten being the highest:

RANKING
_________
0 0 weddings attended
6 french kissing (too much tongue)
10 some morrocan dish w/ chicken served with heineken
-7 cover letters and applications
10 champagne in the basement of a club
2 out of practice backhand
10 new citrus floss

A serious editorial will be congealing soon but this shit is all Post-Its and receipts at this point. Best Regards,

~Pokey

BACK IN THE SADDLE

after a short and desparate vaca LisaBot offices are thriving in the air-conditioned fabulous fashion mecca of SoHo. Representatives are taking on the day with vigor and passion, late morning starts, long lunches, tennis in mid-afternoon, a newly established cocktail hour, and champagne in the evenings. the summer fabulous life is in full swing here in the offices and reps report that it truly is The Life.

In Company News...

Creative hair seems to be a real favorite of your one rogue editor, first a ridiculous cut and soon some silly color, beauty is skin deep and we here in commentary for our editor concede, that is shallow.

Shipments from summer affiliates are almost ready to leave their centrally located warehouse in the mid-west. Inventory will include apparel and footwear.

Plans for our CEO to merge with certain publishing companies are in the works and information can not be released at this time, however, we can state that perspectives look promising.

THE SANDALS

thank you all who share quite a ferverent interest in sandals. there has been no word yet on whether or not or correspondents have found the perfect summer sandal which we take to mean that the search contiues. who is the ideal sandal? what is the ideal sandal? a bagette? a white peasant skirt? a redbullvodka? time will tell.

HAM LAKE

an affiliate of LisaBot has a creation in exhibition right now entitled HAM LAKE. a one man play, the hearbreaking tale of a short piece on one man's life. and honest look into things. Josh Hartnett produces this original feature with 95% writing credit to Nat Bennett. Good work boys, we applaud such and upstanding effort and flawless execution.
abone the KBG Bar... performances this weeek only.

EVERYTHING ELSE
sometimes it is hard being a world-famous robot company. VPs throughout the trenched that are LisaBot INC concur that there is little room for error. other than typos and general inability to report actual fact. there is something inherently HUGE and creepy about having so much power. we give our thanks that your readership does not sway in the face of extreme domination.

SANDAL CRISIS

because New York City itself is a fucking crisis we here in the offices have another crisis to add deep within the womb of New York.

sandals.

oh god yes they are important.

supportive black sandals that go with everything... jeans, skirts... something tasteful that doesn't make one look like a 45 yr old woman.

oh hell.


in other, lesser important news:

a russian vixen was almost attained by our favorite dentist, however, in a weak moment her phone number was misplaced. we will all suffer the loss of such and tradegy. damn it she was perfect. "and she even knew about teeth," he sighed.

the offices would like to take this moment to recongize and appreciate the local presence of one the the world's most forward thinking feminist geologists. New York shall now be the pleasure that had once only been hoped for.